dazzling and interesting on a shoestring
AAAACK! It would appear that I have not written in almost a month. Graduation, summer vacation or an attack of killer tomatoes? No, just life. I got a job, sort of, and then I got heavily into the land of imagination and disappeared. But the reality is that life—destitution and obscurity ever-present as always—goes on. And therefore, so must the blog.
In the past few weeks, we here at L of the D n’ O have been cultivating lettuce and preschoolers and trying to figure out the motivation for some people to sell their trash on their driveways and call it a ‘Garage Sale’. (A friend mentioned the term ‘box of socks’, and if there had been hosiery available for purchase, I might have been interested.)
The ‘job’ of sorts is a stint being a paid (marginally) blogger (!) at BayAreaMama as their residence Health and Fitness writer. I’ve blogged there on raw milk, running for sanity’s sake and the in’s and out’s of sunscreens. Please do check it out, and understand that I am blogging for 2 now, and may not quite hit weekly on both.
In the coming weeks, as both patriotism and barbeques ignite, I’m sure that there will be able opportunities to share how the poor and creative get down and dirty. So here are a few suggestions for Independence Day:
1. Turn east and somewhat north, depending on where you are in the US (and only if you are a citizen of the United States of America) extend your middle finger and aim. This might be the true spirit of the holiday, excepting the fact that it’s a bit childish, and that the Brits have a different hand gesture for the same expression in their country. It just goes to prove how really independent we are—we made up our own obscene hand gestures.
2. Okay, really. Check out where your nearest parade is and partake in the scenery waltzing by, or join right in for a few minutes. Most local parades include the high school marching band, a few fancy cars and lots of fun for kids. I used to attend the Fourth of July Parade in Danville, California back when local men pushed their John Deere’s around in a choreographed routine as part of the Lawnmower Brigade (no one in Danville mows their own lawns anymore, but a bunch of guys still get together with their old mowers anyway) and the parade finished off with a troop of Civil War buffs firing off their rifles (I hated that part—too loud and scary… oh, wait—that idea is still loud and scary, and apparently, they still do it) but now it’s a little tamer with lots of Mercedes and real estate agents—still a little scary, but always good, campy fun. And the vintage tractors in the second video link are pretty cool. I have to believe that somewhere in the good ol’ US of A there’s a small town parade or two that still believes in charm and creativity. The Midwest has got to be a hotbed. If you know of a good one, let me know. I might even make travel plans for next year.
3. Don’t drive all over creation (or drive much at all on this drunken holiday) to go to a fireworks show. You’ll spend most of your evening in the car, trying to park, trying to get out of the parking lot and trying to find it in the first place. And for heaven’s sake, don’t try them at home. At D n’ O, we love DIY projects, but fireworks are not one of them. Climb up the nearest hill or roof and see if you can spot one or more from afar. Or at the very least, walk or carpool. One of the best fireworks show I’ve seen was from my friend’s roof. It was made more spectacular by the fact that my boyfriend at the time dropped his pants in the middle of the show to reveal his Stars-n-Stripes boxers and bellowed at the top of his lungs—‘I’m a g- -d-mn patriot!’ Brilliant, though it had little to do with the fireworks in the distance. Still, it was in the true spirit of the Destitute and Obscure.
And lastly, uh, don’t drink and drive… really. Don’t drive at all, if you can. There are too many drunk loonies out on the road and you don’t need to hang out with them, or be one of them. If alcohol is a necessary part of your celebration of Independence from the mother country, then please do so in a manner that keeps you functional and in the confines of your own neighborhood. Please note: the fact that the words ‘functional’ and ‘alcohol’ appearing in the same sentence in no way advocates the ideas of ‘functioning alcoholic’—malarkey, I’m convinced. Public service announcement is now, ahem, completed. Thanks for your time.
Stay tuned in the next few weeks for adventures in lettuce, moving, garage sale-ing, interior decorating and more book recommendations and recipes. Shortly thereafter, it will be worth noting that most stores’ lines of swimsuits go on sale. Conversely, the time to shop for jeans is in February.
And so, thus armed, I shall sally forth into the world, armed with ideas and an empty wallet. Happy Independence weekend to all ya’ll Yanks and Howdy and thanks for your support to all ya’ll all over the world.
(nifty flag photo credit)